Pete’s Poetry
AN ODE TO THE HEROES OF GALACORAL EVEREST BASE CAMP TREK
ALLISON MULLARKY
While walking late, one night, past Ally’s tent, I got a fright.
A strange noise came from within.
On the batteries it’s a drain, but all is innocent, let me explain, it’s that bloody wind up torch again!
She walks the paths and trails in her hat and pigtails; to be honest she looks good in khaki.
By no means lazy, but a little bit crazy, you have to be to sign up for this mullarky!
BARRY THOMAS
There is video proof, if any should ask.
That Barry’s spoons reactions are extremely fast.
No sooner the card has hit the table, the spoon disappears, he must practice with a ladle!
He grabs the spoons with a look that says “Has anyone seen me”,
Barry’s new nickname is……..the “Cutlery Houdini”!
DAVE CROFT
Dave Croft, what a legend, a man with a lot of pride.
He’s had some funny rants, and walks around in just his pants.
Even when it’s minus ten outside!
We all know his favourite game, ‘cos he won’t play any others.
So I bet we hear just one more time…….”Shoot pontoon you buggers”!
DOCTOR SURESH
Doctor Suresh is a little bit mental and I rather doubt his medical credential.
A doctor’s role is to keep you healthy and in the process get very wealthy.
His medical training must have been pretty brisk, as he takes five sugars in tea and smokes despite the risk
We’ve all made it now and we owe him our gratitude,
For giving us drugs for all sorts of bugs and Diamox for altitude!
EWEN MACGREGOR
Ewen Macgregor’s name gave me visions of fame, an adventurer through and through.
But unfortunately for him, the first few days made him thin, as he had a spot of bother on the loo.
He came good and we all knew that he would, no way he was ever going to fail.
Now all is dandy, his skills may come in handy, when Ross lands himself in jail.
GUY HEYWOOD
When training in the lakes, with Guy no one could compete.
But out here in the Himalayas, he just didn’t seem complete.
His eyes went green with envy, when he saw Paul’s impressive rod,
But he smiled with glee when he found half a tree and whittled it, doing a good job.
Too big for the plane, Guys stick must remain but fond memories with it he will share.
Hopefully though he can flog it for some dough and donate it to Sue Ryder Care.
HUW THOMAS
Huw seems quite posh with his massive wad of dosh but look closer its one dollar bills.
He’s been quite sick. From what? Take your pick, but now better after hundreds of pills.
His meals are chocolate and tuna.
Out of us all he needs a big mac sooner.
So when the plane lands back home, he’ll be straight on the phone….”Hello Dominoes? I’m just round the corner”!
JANET PANKHURST
Janet marches on defiantly, leading from the back.
She learns us with her worldly wisdom; she’s the mother of the pack.
She’s worked so hard and come so far, sometimes with a tear in her eye.
But any who doubted she would make it, will now eat humble pie!
KERRI MCGARRY
Kerri‘s got a wicked laugh, it echoes round the valley.
She really loves a beer or two, no matter she’s always happy.
While trekking one day her feet gave way and that’s something she may want to hide.
But Raj was around and said something quite profound “Kerri, your now known as Buttslide”!
LARA CAMPBELL
Lara wears her combat trousers and aviator glasses.
Looking like a real pro along the mountain passes.
She’s had her ups and had her downs; no way can you call her soft.
She’s a bloody action hero man, she could be Lara Croft!
LAURA SAVORY
Comparatively speaking, Laura is a gem.
She’s grafted with us all the way and taken on the men.
To get us all too base camp, is a massive thing.
Something she should be proud of, she is a real Tenzing!
We’ll miss her laugh and stoney looks when we do something wrong.
We wish shed wash a little more often as she gives off such a pong!
We’ll have many happy memories, as once more real life looms.
But something Laura will never forget……is beating Jez at spoons!
MARK SIMM
Simmo hates an early night; it’s his idea of hell.
He’d rather find a local boozer and have a San Miguel.
He greets the girls with an “Alright Chuck” as he bound across the rocks.
And if you borrow his shower gel, then you’ll have minty bollocks!
MARK ST CLAIRE
Mark St Claire will do anything for a dare, cross dressing or climbing a mountain.
If there is a party to be had, he’ll start it, he’s such a lad, his enthusiasm is hard to contain.
He wins lots at cards so will never be skint, don’t ask for a Werthers Original, you’ll get a Murray Mint!
He’s always got a smile, talk to him for a while, you’ll feel better I guarantee.
Don’t challenge him to spoons, you’ll probably lose and end up with fingers numbering three!
MARK WORSFOLD
Mark is a veteran of Kilimanjaro and now Everest.
While at lunch on Monday he lay down for a rest.
From the distance came a herd of runaway beast.
We all looked in wonder while having our lunch feast.
It was a battle of wills, who would move last.
Alas poor Mark had never moved so fast!
MIKE LAMPER
Mikes got the kit to take a great shot.
If its ISO or shutter rate then he knows the lot.
He’s got years of camping experience so we were shocked when he did a tent dodge.
He ditched poor Ross for a night with the Doc in a fancy Himalayan lodge.
Better keep him sweet though, he’s had a long old slog.
He’ll have revenge on all of us when he updates the blog!
MICK HILL
Howling mad Mick Hill is always in search of a thrill, he laughs in the face of danger.
He scales rocky outcrops for remarkable photo ops; thank god there is no park ranger.
He’s got the gizmos from home, blackberry and I-Phone, hoping to charge from the sun.
But his solar panel was a joke; most of us had sunstroke, next time he’ll bring a wind turbine. Job done!
PADDY KING
Paddy is a lunatic, turned up with just one walking stick and dressed for Reading or Glastonbury.
No thermal tights, just two hundred Marlboro lights, the confidence he oozes is scary.
He smoked his way to the top, no way he would stop and no sign of him being a wheezer.
He’s a real nice guy with a diamond glint in his eye; he’s a genuine cockney geezer!
PAUL BROWN
Paul or “Hannibal you crazy fool!” if you prefer. Loves it in the mountains, he doesn’t have a care.
He bounds across the rocks and paths aided by his bamboo.
The secret to his spritely ways is……..he’s always looking for the loo!
PETE HUGHES – Written by Laura Savory
And then there’s the lovely Pete
So flippin’ chipper,
He’d never admit defeat.
But, oh beware -
Follow in his wake and you’ll smell fart in the air.
Every morning we’d see his chest fluff,
but thank christ never totally in the buff.
But above all with the whole group he did mesh,
That’s cos he’s our boy Pete, you know Spesh!
PHIL ASHWORTH
Phil is pretty quiet, but secretly he’s a riot. Probably the lead singer in a rock and roll band.
He plays cards like an ace, with his stoney poker face, never letting on what’s in his hand.
When your one step away from winning, your head will start spinning. To win the money is hard.
In swoops Phil, from nowhere, for the kill! He wins the money……bastard!
PETER MEACOCK
Pete is another member of our lofty gaming table.
Rupees, Dollars or Sterling, he’ll gamble if he’s able.
Back home he handles security and solves crimes when he can.
To transport all his winnings home, he’ll need a Securicor van!
ROB NORMAN
Rob had his birthday while we’ve been out on the trail.
He tried to keep it quiet but unfortunately without fail.
His birthday cake was special considering the effort needed,
But the best present Rob could get, was knowing he’d succeeded!
ROSS O’SHAUGHNESSY
Ross the comedian, the joker of the pack, to the group he brings comic relief.
But when times are hard and the road ahead is long, his encouragement brings self belief.
He’s as happy as Larry, ‘cos the gold jacket he had to carry, made him look like a real bingo caller.
With his cheeky smile, he could do Gala TV for a while but when he gets his balls out his career may be shorter!
SIMON THOMPSON
Simon’s classic car had gone a mile too far and needed fixing by me and Dave Croft.
Luckily though, I dreamt the whole show, a side effect of being so aloft.
He walks the trail, straight and true without fail. For your money a real safe bet.
Let’s not mess around he covers the ground, hardly even breaking a sweat!
STEVE OWENS
Silent Steve the junk food king, give him enough Mars bars and he’ll walk from here to Peking.
You see him every morning breaking a Twix into his porridge, and then he hits the Coke or Sprite to climb the highest ridge.
Never more than a step behind the Sherpa leading the trek, he’s a real Himalayan king.
So if you need a career change, get a plane back to the Himalayan range and change your name to Tenzing!
TIM BUTTLE
Tim climbs the mountain in his lucky red hat.
Some say special needs, but we won’t talk about that!
Tim loves to gamble for money, any game will do.
Bum burn or spoons to name just two!
Even when its dinner time or all are feeling like hell.
Tim has got the cards out; it’s time to give Gamcare a bell!
JEZ BENNETT
Jez let’s admit……is completely full of shit!
Give him his dues; he did introduce us to spoons.
He’s the biggest wind up merchant any of us will meet.
Ripping the piss out of all the tourists that we see on the trail and greet.
Jez like to win at everything and he does so with a grin.
When Laura beat him at spoons then he claimed he let her win.
Joking aside he leads the group with pride and we all owe him a debt.
We all made it to base camp and back and that’s something we’ll never forget.
SHERPA RAJ
Sherpa Raj is always happy.
His breakfast consists of a peanut butter chapatti.
Its high octane from what I’ve seen.
Kalla Phattar in an hour and fifteen!
No matter what you say about Raj, he is an absolute legend.
We’d like to be as fit as him but to be honest we’d just have to pretend.